A
Abdominal pain, 7
Air mattress, alternating pressure, 120
Albom, Mitch, 38
Amends, 95, 99
American Cancer Society, 11
Anger, 18-19, 99, 145, 146–147, 165
Anniversaries, 165–168
Ashes, scattering, 161–164

B
Baby monitor, 120
Bed, hospital, 119
Bedside commode, 122
Bedside table on wheels, 120
Being vs. doing, 20
Being remembered, 4, 43–44
Being With Dying, 39
Belongings, giving away, 110–113
Bill of Rights, Passing Peacefully, 173
Birthday card and gift, 46–47
Bittersweet, 106
Blanket, 120, 130, 155, 158
Blessings from the Other Side, 25
Body needs, 80
Boroleum, 123
Bowel movements, 157
Brain, affected by cancer, 129
Breathing
  Cheynes-Stokes respiration, 141
  Death rattle, 141
Browne, Sylvia, 25, 36
Buddhist tradition
  Nine Contemplations on Dying, 39
  Phowa practice, 39
  Prayer, 39–40
Byock, M.D., Ira, 84, 100

C
Cancer
  affecting the brain, 129
  breast, 26
  colon, xix, 9, 30,
  liver, xix, 166
Cane, 121
Caregivers, 80, 118–119
  Getting the best care, 84
  In-home care, 89, 118
  Overwhelmed and exhausted, 84–89, 151, 154, 167, 169
  Powerless feeling, 18
Celebration of Life, 17, 132
Chef, personal, 90, 119
Chemotherapy, xix, 9, 10
Cheynes-Stokes respiration, 141
Childhood, tumultuous, xviii, 98–99, 105
Chores, 79
Christmas, last, 45
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), 128
Chunking down, 96
Cleaning services, 119
Clothes, 111
  Night, 124
  Pants, maternity, 124
  Socks, 124
Coach, 117
  Death and dying coach, 117
  International Coach Federation, 117
  Job description, 117
Commode, bedside, 122, 151, 158
Confidentiality, xv
Contemplations on Dying, 39
Control, 94, 106, 107, 113
Conversations With God, 91
COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease), 128
Coroner, 153, 154, 159
Creating small tasks, 96
Cremation, 130, 156, 161, 162
CT scan, 8

D
Death
  Acceptance of, 10, 17, 19 28
  Angry about, 18, 19
  Beliefs about, 33–37
  Causes, 141
  Contemplations on dying, 39
  Dignity, 107, 118
  Exit point, 10
  Failure, 64
  Fear of, 1, 34, 35, 150
  Fighting death, 11, 19
  Follow the light, 41, 149
  Good death, 38 (see also Die a good death, Dying well)
  Home, 77–81
  Inevitable passage, xiv, 2
  Moment of, 52, 149
  Part of life, 64
  Practice dying, 40–41
  Spiritual aspects, 91–92
  Time needed for acceptance, 28
Death rattle, 141
Denial, 25
Didion, Joan, 8
Die a good death, 2, 10, 25, 38, 39, 106 (see also Dying well)
Disposable mattress protectors, 120
Dry shampoo, 122
Dying Process, xviii, xix, xx, 2, 103, 169 (see also End-of-life, Death)
Dying Time, The, 59, 98, 103,125, 156
Dying well, 2, 3, 4, 11 (see also Die a good death)
Dying Well, 84, 100

E
Eating, 71
  Food choices, 74
  Not eating, 73, 74
  Personal chef, 119
  Portion size, 74
End-of-life xix, xx, 2, 33, 157 (see also Dying process, Death)
  Bodily discharge, involuntary, 157
  Completing life without regret, xx
  Dignity, xx
  Equanimity, xx
  Life-altering, xx, 26
  Morphine, pros and cons, 125
  Oxygen, considerations of increasing, 125
Exhausted (see Caregivers: Overwhelmed and exhausted)

F
Fan, 128
Folder, 136
Funeral director, 154, 162
Funeral home, 129
Furman, Joan, 59, 98, 125, 156

G
Gas, passing, 23
Giving things away, 110–113
Glass with flexible straw, 126
Greenspan, Miriam, 168
Grief, 60, 173, 175

H
Halifx, Joan, 39
Healing Through the Dark Emotions, 168
Health care, routine, 74
Hearing, last sense to go, 47, 152
Heifer International, 46
Hell, 35, 36
Help, asking for, 87–92
Home visits, 12, 16, 30
Hospice, 63–70, 117–118
  Chaplain, 66, 91
  Description, 117–118
  Eligibility, 64
  Goals, 65
  Medical director, 66
  Medical insurance, 66, 68
  Memorial service, 69
  Music therapist, 66
  Nurse, 12, 65, 124, 125, 127, 139, 142, 152, 153, 158
  Nurse’s aide, 66
  Philosophy, 117–118
  Physical aids, 119–128
  Social worker, 65
  Support groups, 66, 69, 168
  Volunteers, 66, 90
Hospital bed, 119
House cleaning, 119
Hovercraft, 36
How We Die, 142
Hurtful incidents, 95
Hypoglycemia, 126

I
Ice cream, 126
Information, passing it on, 97
Insurance, medical, 66, 68, 118
International Coach Federation, 117

K
Kamens, Rabbi Sylvan, 69
Kessler, David, 46
Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, xiii, 46, 63, 83, 150

L
Legacy, xvi, xx
Legal documents, 109
Life Lessons, 46
Life on the Other Side, 25
Life review, 94, 104
Live fully, 13 (see also Live well)
Live well, 2, 3
Lotions, 123

M
Mattress, alternating pressure air, 120
Mattress protectors, disposable, 120
McNaab, David, 59, 98, 125, 156
Meal replacement bars and drinks, 126 (see also Nutrition)
Medicines, 80, 124, 125, 151, 152
Memorial service, 129, 133, 134, 167
  Folder (program), 136
  Number of people attending, 136–137
Mobility, 121
Money, 112, 131
  Giving away, 112–113
Monitor, baby, 120
Morphine, 125
Music, 133, 136, 150, 167

N
Nicotine gum, 127–128
Nicotine patches, 127–128
Nine contemplations on dying, 39
Nuland, Sherwin, M.D., 142
Nutrition, 72, 74
  Meal replacement bars and drinks, 126
  Personal chef, 90, 119

O
Obituary, 53–62
  Bookmarks, 59
  Laminated copies, 59
  Purpose, 59
  Sample 55–58, 60–62
Oncologist, 9, 11, 12, 139
On Death and Dying, 83, 150
Other side, 10, 34, 36, 37, 150
Overwhelmed, 167 (see also Caregivers: Overwhelmed and exhausted)
Oxygen, 123, 125, 156
  Plastic tubing, 127

P
Pain medicine, 125–126, 152, 158
Passing Peacefully Bill of Rights, 173
Peace, xiv, 101, 106, 147, 152
Permission
  Giving, 97
  Getting permission to die, 97
Personal chef, 90, 119
Phowa practice, 39
Physical aids, 115, 119–128
Pictures, 15, 133, 164
Photo album, 19
Proof of existence, 17
Picture hooks, 127, 156 (see also Oxygen)
Pillboxes, 124 (see also Medicines)
Pneumonia, 141
Poem, 133, 136, 164, 167, 170
  Phowa Prayer, 39–40
  “There is No Death,” 170
  “We Remember Them,” 69–70
Prayer (see also Poem)
  Phowa Prayer, 39–40
  “There is No Death,” 170
  “We Remember Them,” 69–70
Priorities, 93
Program (folder), 136 (see also Memorial service)
Psychic phenomena
  Channeling, 50
  Intuitive readings, 50
  Medium, 50
  Psychic reading, 50–52, 140
  Spiritual entities, 49
Psychotherapist, 117

Q
Queen Kris, 11

R
Relationship completion, 100
Release-of-information, xvi
Remembered, being, 43–44
Reminiscing, 103–107
Resolution of hurtful incidents, 95
Restorative justice, 100
Rice pack, 127
Rigor mortis, 158, 159

S
Salve, 123
Scattering ashes, 161–164
Shampoo, dry, 122
Shower, 122
  Hand-held shower head, 122
  Shower stool, 122
Siegel, M.D., Bernie, xi–xiv
Similarities between birth and death, xix, 90, 117, 128, 142
Skin, sensitive, 123
  Lotions, 123
  Salve for nostrils, 123
  Towel, 122
  Washcloth, 122
Sleeping naked, 124
Smoking, 11, 100, 128
  Quit, 11, 75, 127
Soap, 123
Songs, 136 (see also Music)
Sounds True Publishing Company, 38
Spiritual, 150
Suppository, 158

T
Table, bedside, 120
Tasks, creating small, 96
Telling others, 25
  Asking others to tell people, 26, 30
  Handling responses, 27
  Handling upsetting response, 31
  List of people to tell, 27
  Straightforward approach 28, 29
Therapy letters, 98–99
Time left to live, 139–140
Toilet seats, 121
Towel, extra soft, 122
Trust, xix, 20, 67
Tuesdays With Morrie, 38

U
Unfinished business, 93–101
Unity, 92, 97, 134
Urine, 158

V
van Dyke, Henry, 170
Vermont Country Store, 116, 123

W
Washcloth, extra soft, 122
“We Remember Them,” 69–70
The Wheel of Life: A Memoir of Living and Dying, 63
Walker, 121
Walsch, Neale Donald, 91
Wet wipes, 122
Wheelchair, 121, 146
Will, 109

X, Y, Z
The Year of Magical Thinking, 8

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